Is this it? 

This is the day I had set for the end of my life, I completed the necessary amount of pills that will take my life, and I think my beloved is onto my plan, though with her shift pattern, it would be cruel of me to survive at this rate, taking her away from work.   How much do I have to detest myself in order for me to want to wreak such havoc on my body? The collateral damage will be astounding, I’m leaving devastation in my wake if I follow through with this monstrous act… But it feels like my only way out. 

I detest my job, I feel unwelcome in my own family home, everything irritates me, I can’t remember the last time I could truly say I was content and happy, the only shining beacon is my angel, my Emma.  If I go through with this, my goddess will be the one who feels it the most, this is my only hindrance.  

I apologise for this endless droning, though I will never apologise for how much I praise my woman.  I love her, with every fibre of my pathetic being.  Nobody could compare to her, I have found perfection in my life, I only wish I had more time in me to celebrate this fact… I love you, my sweet girl.  Please forgive me.  

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